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How To Pick Up Women In Bars

Bars have become a common venue for young men and women to hang out, enjoy their night time, and of course to meet each other. In fact, not really “each other” – because it’s the men who are expected to make the first move and approach women.

There are mainly 2 different types of night game venues: Bars and Clubs. Clubs are usually larger and involve louder music and dancing.

A bar will usually be smaller, have not as loud music as a club would have, and will usually have no dance floors. So bars, in general, are a more relaxed version of a night club.

A bar can be a perfect place to enjoy your evening and also to pick up some women.

So how do you approach women in a bar, what are good ways to start a conversation, and how can you be unique and more attractive than the rest of the guys in the bar.

Image and Social Value in the Bar

What is unique about night venues in general, and is especially important in a bar, is the image and the social value that you present.

You see, you might be checking the women in the bar according to their physical looks, how slutty they dress, and so on. But women will be mainly checking your behavior.

Therefore, your goal is to make those women to like you and feel interested, even before you approach. This is done by creating a masculine social value – which means that you will show that you are a social guy who knows everyone in the bar and that people love to be with.

How do you do this? It’s simple – engage in interactions with people in the bar. Don’t begin with hot chicks – on the contrary, chat with the staff of the bar, talk with your friends, chat with other men in the bar. And chat with other women – not because you’re attracted to them, but just in order to enjoy a conversation.

You see, you shouldn’t start talking to people just in order to get their phone numbers or to have sex. Chat just as a part of the fun vibe.

By doing this, you will become the most social guy in the bar, and therefore, the one that every woman will be interested in.


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Don’t Show Too Much Interest

Some pickup and dating Coaches believe in using only “indirect” openers in bars and clubs. Basically I agree with this. In bars and clubs, women are approached by many men, sometimes even more than 10 in a night.

This is a very large competition, and it causes women to be bitchy towards men, and it’s easy to understand why – she can’t really talk to so many men. This is why I also suggest you to use openers that don’t show too much interest.

Indirect openers are a great way to start a conversation in a bar. However, you can be a bit direct too, but you should add to the direct opener some indirect layer.

For example: “Hi, I think you are really cute… although you are not tall enough for me”.

Or “I saw you from over there, and I thought you are funny girls. Although I am still not sure in which of you I am interested more”.

You see? The concept is that even if you show interest, I suggest you to continue by showing some disinterest, which make your approach a bit indirect.

Women are getting approached by so many men who are “in love” with them, that you must be different and unique.

Use Ultra Interesting Openers 

As we said already, in a bar you will have high competition from other men, because they feel more comfortable to approach women than during the day.

If you spend time to watch an attractive girl in a bar, you will see how many men approach her.

Because of that, we should use concepts that we learn in marketing and sales: when there is a high competition, you need to be unique.

A woman in a bar is in many cases going to begin filtering you and giving you a rejection before you even start the first sentence. This is why you have to be ultra-interesting.

If you are using and opinion opener (asking for her opinion on something), this has to be a very interesting topic. If you are telling something funny, it has to be really funny. And if you are being direct, you have to use very attractive body language.

In a bar you have lots of women, but also a high competition. So you have to be sharp.

Don’t Take Rejections Personally

The last thing about competition in a bar – even if you do everything right, you are still going to get lots of rejections in a bar.

So first of all, expect those rejections. There is no real way to avoid them.

And second, don’t take them personally. If a woman is rejecting you or behaving bitchy, she doesn’t really know you. She’s simply rejecting some guy who approached her.

Maybe she is just not in the mood. Perhaps too many guys tried to pick her up using lame openers. And maybe your opener wasn’t very successful – and still, she isn’t rejecting you. She is rejecting your opener.

If you get rejected, give the girl a big smile, even tell her “thank you”, and continue trying with other women.